


Being There

by cloudcastles



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 03:26:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5612200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudcastles/pseuds/cloudcastles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poe and Finn help heal each other's wounds after the destruction of Starkiller Base. Poe is a very patient man, Finn is a very good big spoon, and they're both idiots.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Waking Up

**Author's Note:**

> I can be found at eccentricaoferoticonsix.tumblr.com :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe waits for Finn to wake up.

“So, Rey left today. Off following the map to Skywalker. But you’ll know that if you were listening earlier. She gave you a pretty good send off.”

Finn didn’t answer. His medical monitor continued beeping steadily in response.

“Hey, not that I’m jealous. She’s gone off to who knows where, to do who knows what dangerous kind of shit, and I’m here with you. So who has the better end of the deal?”

Finn’s monitor beeped again, in a higher and faster tone. Poe frowned at the machine and leant over to see if he could read its screen for any alert message, but was interrupted by a medi-droid whizzing in between him and Finn. The droid silenced the monitor’s high beeping tone and busied itself checking on Finn. After administering a bacta injection to Finn’s neck, the droid turned and beeped at Poe.

_-Visiting hours are over, you will have to leave the medical bay-_

“I’ve only just got here … I haven’t finished telling Finn about-“

_-The patient is in a medically induced coma and it is uncertain he can hear you-_

Poe sighed. “So they keep telling me.”

_-You will have to leave the medical bay or the senior healer will be alerted-_

“Alright, alright,” Poe said, his hands outstretched in surrender.

He turned to Finn and smiled softly. “Night, buddy. See you tomorrow.”

…

Despite being berated and harassed by medi-droids and healers every night, Poe continued to visit Finn and talk to him for hours on end. After at least a week of trying in vain to elude the visiting hours cut-off, he was physically ejected from the medical bay by a particularly persistent medi-droid.

“Hey, I haven’t done anything wrong. I’m just talking to my friend,” Poe argued, once again trying the same line that hadn’t worked on any of the other medi-droids thus far.

_-The senior healer has made special orders for you-_

“What do you mean, special orders?”

_-Healer Ja’ayx has stated that Poe Dameron is under medical orders to leave the medical bay after visiting hours and to sleep. There is concern for your health-_

“I’m being ordered to sleep? I sleep … or, well, I try to. It’s not like I’m here all the time!”

_-That is correct. There are visiting hours in place to prevent that. Good evening-_

The droid then pressed the locking button on the other side of the bay doors and swiftly rolled away. Poe sighed and leant his head against the door frame. It would almost be amusing that he was now under medical orders to sleep if the orders weren’t so desperately needed. He’d barely been sleeping at all of late. It wasn’t all about spending time at the medical bay, nor were the nightmares entirely to blame. Truth be told, he’d been mostly lying awake thinking, his mind running wild about Finn, Kylo Ren, Master Skywalker, and the uncertain that loomed over them all. He just wanted one thing to be good, to be alright again. At least, that was the excuse he gave himself for why he was spending every free waking moment with a comatose man he barely even knew, waiting for him to be well again. The truth was a bit more complicated than that.

He sighed again, pushing himself off the doorframe, and slowly headed back to his quarters.

…

After another successful flight simulator run with Jessika, Poe quickly changed out of his flight suit into civvies and headed down to the medical bay. It wasn’t strictly necessary for them to be doing flight training, but Jessika was always keen to improve, and Poe had decided that he could use a few hours outside his own head. It had been nearly two weeks now of talking to Finn for hours every day without any response and talking to himself in his head for hours on end every night. The high-focus task of flight training was all he had to keep himself from going completely stir-crazy, and to keep his mind off of things.

Despite this, Poe looked forward to the time he spent with Finn every day. Since the healers had told him that there was a chance that Finn could hear what he was saying to him, he’d doubled his efforts toward keeping Finn up to date with the goings-on of the Resistance Base. He sometimes found himself wandering whilst he talked, ending up telling Finn about his childhood, about what he’d eaten that day, about which medi-droid was out to get him that particular day, about how Finn was doing. He liked that part the best, because it seemed to him that Finn had been getting better. He was looking less ashy and getting bacta shots less often. The medi-droids refused to give him any official updates on Finn’s status, however. Apparently their protocols stated that family members only were to be informed. It had been useless arguing with the droids about this fact, so Poe had decided to find a healer to argue with about it.

Just as he stepped into the medical bay, Poe collided with one of the junior healers, sending the poor woman and her medical notes flying.

“Shit, sorry! I wasn’t looking – here,” he held out his hand to help her up, “let me grab these.”

He leant down and started picking up the scattered notes.

“Oh, no, I’ve got them,” the healer said, smiling meekly at Poe. He noticed a slight blush in her cheeks and smiled back.

“Sorry,” Poe apologised, handing her a small pile of notes, ”I’m Poe. Poe Dameron.”

The healer blushed harder. “Oh, I know. You’re in here quite a bit with, um, Finn, right?”

“Yeah, That’s me. I was actually wondering if someone could help me with that. The droids won’t tell me anything about his medical status.”

“Oh, they’re pretty strict about that,” she explained, “Usually you’d have to be married or related for stuff like that.”

“Well, see, he doesn’t have anyone like that. No family here, no, uh … person,” Poe said, floundering trying to find the word for married people.

“Spouse,” the healer replied. “I see. Well, seeing as you’re in here so much I imagine you’re probably the closest he’s got then?,” she asked softly, looking up at Poe hopefully.

Poe raised his eyebrows and smiled tenderly, “I guess so.”

…

After his encounter with Junior Healer Kesler, as he later found out she was called, Poe received regular updates on Finn’s status. As it turns out, the surgeries and bacta had been relatively successful, and it was expected that Finn would eventually make a full recovery. Poe made sure to read out even the driest of details from the medical report he was given for Finn, including Finn’s midi-chlorian count. Poe was not-so-secretly glad to discover that Finn’s count was only slightly higher than average at 2800 counts. The last thing he needed was another Jedi around here. Especially another one to worry about and then eventually lose.

Poe was just finishing reading over Finn’s latest report over his morning coffee when he saw a handwritten note on the bottom of the final page below the official treatment plan notes. Written in a rushed scrawl, the note said, “ _Poe, The senior healers are planning to try and take Finn out of his coma this afternoon. I asked them to wait until visiting hours but I wouldn’t count on anything. Best come early - Kesler_.”

Immediately jumping to his feet, Poe checked his chronometer. The medical bay visiting hours started in 15 minutes. Jessika and the few other pilots at the canteen table looked up at him in surprise. Flustered, he only explained by saying, “Finn,” before rushing back to his quarters. He had just enough time to put on a shirt he hadn’t slept in and check his hair.

He arrived at the medical bay just as the door was being unlocked, and practically sprinted down to Finn’s bed. Kesler was waiting next to Finn, medical tablet in hand.

“Am I late?” Poe asked.

Kesler smiled, “No, I stalled them for a bit. And if any senior healer asks, you’re his boyfriend, alright?”

“Alright,” Poe replied, not needing to be told twice. In fact, he might have said that himself by accident anyway. He kept having to remind himself that his conversations with Finn for the last few weeks were decidedly one-sided. And they were pretty dry for the most part, not exactly chatting-with-boyfriend material.

“Good,” Kesler replied, her eyes firmly focused at her tablet, “then you’ll get to stay and watch.”

Poe smiled. “That’s great! Thanks so much Kesler.”

“Ora – My name’s Ora,” she said softly, looking with even more focus at the screen as a blush crept up her cheeks.

“Thanks Ora.”

They stood in an awkward silence for what felt like forever before a medi-droid came through the privacy curtain followed by two senior healers.

One of the healers, a tall man with teal-coloured skin, turned to Kesler. “Junior Healer Kesler. Is the patient prepared for the procedure?”

“Yes, Healer Ja’ayx.”

“Very well, you may go.” Kesler left silently with a small wave to Poe.

The healer then turned toward Poe and eyed him with suspicion. “You’re the young man who has been sitting with the patient?”

Poe cleared his throat, “Yes, sir.”

“Good. It’s good that he had some company. I can only hope you found some sleep at some point, yes?”

Poe nodded and the healer smiled tightly. “Well, let’s get to business shall we? The procedure won’t take long. Take a seat, young man.” He gestured to the seat on Finn’s left side.

Poe sat down and watched as the two healers worked together on reviving Finn, instructing the droid on what to administer. It was only a few minutes before the pair stepped back from Finn’s bed.

“He should awaken in the next hour or so, it will take a while for his system to register the changes. A medi-droid will wait here with you to monitor and to inform us – I assume you will be waiting?” Healer Ja’ayx asked.

“I wouldn’t miss it.”

Both healers nodded fondly, and left with their droid in tow. A few moments later, a monitoring droid entered the room and settled itself in the corner. Poe sighed gently and leant back in his chair.

“So I guess this is just a waiting game now, eh? I run all the way here and you make me wait? You’re lucky I’m a patient man, Finn,” Poe said with a smile, “You take your time though. I can wait an hour longer after a few weeks in this chair, I think.”

Poe let the quiet hang in the air, watching Finn’s chest rise and fall in time with the beeping of his medical monitor. Slowly, he began to notice changes. After a few minutes, Finn’s breathing became deeper. A few more and Poe noticed him moving slightly, like a person in deep sleep. After half an hour, his eyelids started to flutter. It was then that Poe stood up.

“Finn? Buddy? Can you hear me?”

Finn sighed sleepily, but his eyes didn’t open.

“C’mon Finn. Wake up. I’m here. You’re alright.” Poe reached out to Finn’s hand resting on the bedsheet and squeezed it.

He stood beside Finn biting his lip anxiously for a few moments before speaking again, “Finn, it’s me, Poe. You awake?” And just then, he felt Finn squeeze his hand back. He looked down at their hands, wide-eyed, then back at Finn’s face.

Finn’s eyes fluttered open. “Hey,” he croaked.

Poe’s face lit up in a wide smile. He was so distracted he missed the whirring of the monitoring droid as it left to inform the healers.

“Hey to you, too,” he replied softly.

Finn smiled and squeezed Poe’s hand again.

“I’m so happy you’re awake. I’ve been visiting you a bit, waiting for you to get better, talking to you.”

Finn nodded lightly, “I know.”

…

It was another week before the healers planned to release Finn for discharge. Poe still visited every day, but now the conversation was more evenly balanced. As it turned out, Finn knew that Poe had been there every day visiting him.

“I can’t explain it. It’s like, I know you were here, talking to me, but I can’t remember what you said. Not much anyway. Just snippets,” Finn explained to Poe once he was allowed back to visit after the appropriate testing was carried out and strict patient rest orders were put in place.

“What snippets?” Poe asked, hoping it wouldn’t be anything embarrassing.

Finn paused to think. “I remember you said that you liked jelly. I think you stole jelly from someone?”

Poe laughed. “I do like jelly. But it was the other way around. Jessika, one of my co-pilots, she stole my jelly about a week ago in the canteen.”

“Was it a good flavour?”

“Blue. So not strictly a flavour, really, but it was sadly missed.”

Finn grinned. “I also remember the healers talking. They usually talked when they were testing me and stuff. One of them was pretty sweet on you, I think.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, but I don’t know which one it was.”

“It will remain a mystery, then,” Poe replied, thinking of a certain helpful Junior Healer. “Anything else?”

“Not much. A bit about bacta fluid or something?”

Poe nodded, “Yeah, I read you your medical reports every day.”

Finn looked at him thoughtfully, “How much time did you spend in here?”

Poe shrugged. “Enough to read your medical reports to you, but not enough to already know everything that was written in them?”

Finn nodded, smiling. “Thanks, Poe.”

“Anytime, buddy.”

…

A few days later, Poe was walking down to Finn’s room in the medical bay and was stopped by one of the healers.

“Mr Dameron?” she said, looking up from her tablet.

“That’s me.” Poe said with a friendly smile.

“As you are likely aware, Mr Finn will be released from the medical bay this afternoon.” Poe nodded in response.

The healer continued, “And although he has been assigned regular living quarters, there are particular conditions for his recuperation. He requires sufficient rest and assistance with more strenuous activities. Now, usually those are taken care of by a special droid or a family member. But, as you know-“

Poe interjected, “I’ll do it. I’ll help Finn. Is that ok? Am I allowed? ”

The healer smiled graciously. “Mr Finn had already requested your assistance. I was checking to see if that was agreeable with you.”

Poe grinned. “It’s very agreeable. Now, what do I need to do?”

“You will require to share your quarters with Mr Finn in case he has a medical emergency or requires assistance walking and such. Other than that, we request that you encourage Mr Finn to take it easy. No training. No fighting. No running. For at least two weeks.”

“Sounds alright to me,” Poe agreed.

The healer gestured for Poe to follow her, and explained further as they walked to Finn’s room, “He will, of course, be coming in for regular check-ups, but for the most part Mr Finn should be fine. He is able to do most activities by himself, but I would hazard a guess will need help walking to the canteen or using stairs. Anything else, just use your com link to contact the medical bay.”

“Great, thank you,” Poe said, smiling at the healer before leaving her to enter Finn’s room.

Finn looked up and grinned as Poe came through the curtains.

“Hey, buddy. I hear we’re gonna be roommates?” Poe said.

“Yeah, sorry, I should have asked you first, it’s just that they asked if –“

Poe took a step toward Finn and patted his back, “Hey, that’s ok. That’s great. I actually asked if I could help before they said that you’d requested me, so there’s that.”

Finn smiled almost shyly, “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Poe replied, “Now, you got everything? I think I can take you home now.”

“Home?”

“Well, my quarters. We should find a spare bed at some point though.”

Finn gave a curt nod. “Home then?”

“Yeah,” Poe said fondly before leading Finn out of the medical bay, one arm slung around his shoulders and the other carrying their shared, but now tattered leather fighter jacket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I clearly have no medical knowledge, which has then been transferred to the Star Wars universe of medicine which I also know barely anything about so ???
> 
> Ora Kesler is every single one of us heart-eyeing at Poe :) Sorry not sorry for inserting an entire fandom into one character.


	2. Sleeping Arrangements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn helps Poe sleep.

Having Finn staying in his quarters had not improved Poe’s sleeping patterns by much. True, he was spending less time in the medical bay now, but that time was now replaced by talking with Finn. Poe was overjoyed to discover that talking with Finn was a great improvement on talking at Finn. They would lie awake for hours at night catching Finn up on everything he’d missed. During the day, Finn would barely leave Poe’s side, and after only a few days he became a regular attendee at meetings of the Resistance and had even started going with Poe to watch his flight training. Although Finn was under strict orders to not get involved in any training activities himself, he made an excellent flight simulator observer and companion.

Finn was particularly fond on telling anyone who would listen in the canteen about Poe’s training earlier that day.

“So Poe just - he sets the holosim on random, right? No idea what he’s gonna be flying?” Finn explained, his eyes wide in excitement, “and he gets a damn G-59 Cannibalizer! I mean, no-one’s flown one of those in 30 years! Barely anyone flew them 30 years ago! We didn’t learn about them in the Order, and we learnt some pretty outdated and useless crap. Anyway - Poe doesn’t even blink, he just grabs the controls and I swear, he’s -“

Whilst the other Resistance pilots listened eagerly to Finn’s tale, Poe zoned out from the story (knowing that it would be exaggerated and embellished anyway) and focused on Finn as he told it. His eyes were lit up and he gestured wildly in a crude re-enactment of the holobattle, looking over at Poe occasionally and grinning.

He refocused when Jessika asked him, “So, is Finn here gonna be your new co-pilot then?”

Poe smiled tightly, “I don’t know. What do you think, Finn?”

“Well, I can’t actually train for a while or every healer on the base will be out to kill me -“ he paused and grinned as the other pilots laughed, “but I think once I’m better I’m gonna train to be a gunner.”

Poe felt a swell of bittersweet pride gather within his chest at the news.

“Well, I’m calling dibs if you don’t,” Jessika said, elbowing Poe playfully.

“Hey, I think I get first call on who I gun for don’t I?” Finn asked innocently. “I’d like Poe. I’d like to be his gunner.”

Jessika raised her eyebrows and smiled knowingly at the pilot sitting next to her.

“If that’s alright with you?” he asked, looking directly into Poe’s eyes.

“Yeah, sounds good,” Poe replied softly. He then spoke louder, addressing the whole table, “So dibs have been officially called, alright?”

A few of the other pilots snorted, nodding in mock defeat. “Alright Dameron, you win this time,” one of the older pilots conceded, “but we’ve got dibs on the next fresh meat.”

“Alright, Snap,” Poe replied with a cheeky smile. He stood from the table and took both his and Finn’s trays over to the cleaning station. When he returned, he held out his hand to Finn. Finn took the outstretched hand with his and stood as well.

“See you guys tomorrow,” Poe said to the table. Finn gave a short wave with his free hand, and then they made their way out of the canteen.

The other pilots watched the two leave with interest. Snap shrugged and explained hesitantly, “Poe says Finn still needs help walking, with the rehabilitating.”

Jessika turned back to face the others, one eyebrow raised. “I dunno, seems like Finn doesn’t need the help to me.”

…

The close living quarters had also given Poe another distraction with which to spend his time. This distraction came in the form of Finn’s shoulder blades. Because Poe had his own ensuite bathroom attached to his quarters, one of the perks of being a Commander, neither of them had to use the communal showers down the hall. This meant that Poe saw Finn’s shoulder blades a lot. Not that Poe was watching Finn get dressed or anything - he just happened to catch glances of him in his towel. Every single day. Finn had beautiful shoulder blades, especially when glistening with the water from the shower.

Poe might have had to force himself to look away on more than one occasion.

He had become pretty well acquainted with the wall, and the floor, and the old piloting manual kept under his bed in his attempts to appear nonchalant about the whole deal. He usually tried to excuse himself to go take his own shower soon after, but he couldn’t help but stare just a little at Finn when he was shirtless. But only when Finn’s back was turned. It was still a really good view, even with the jagged scar left behind by ~~Ben~~ Kylo Ren.

Afterward, in the shower, Poe would chastise himself. Not only was Finn unaware of what was going on, but he was also recuperating from a terrible injury. He had other things to deal with than a stupid crush from his roommate and one of his only friends.

“Not to mention he’s almost ten years younger than you,” Poe muttered to himself under the forgiving sound of the running shower water. He sighed, closing his eyes and letting the water run over his face. He hadn’t fallen this quickly or easily for someone since - well, since never. He felt like a damn teenager.

Of course, Poe was entirely unaware that similar thoughts were going through Finn’s head about his own shoulder blades and how his hair looked when it was half-dry after a shower.

Finn took the time when Poe was in the shower to subtly edge the camp bed closer to Poe’s regular bed. There had been a small argument and heated rolling of a chance cube that resulted in Finn being given Poe’s regular bed to sleep in. Poe had insisted, saying that as Finn was recovering, and was technically his guest, he should have the better bed. Finn had tried to explain that he was used to terrible sleeping conditions, but Poe wouldn’t take no for an answer. Finn hadn’t let slip that he’d partially wanted the camp bed so that he could decide where it got placed in the room. Poe had set it up a respectable distance away from Finn’s, but Finn wanted them to be closer together so they could talk to each other in whispers late at night and reach out to touch each other in the darkness. It was a little stupid and filled with a desperate kind of longing, but Finn couldn’t really care that much. He just hoped that he wasn’t called out on it.

Thankfully, Poe didn’t say anything about their beds slowly edging together, and within a few days, the beds were within an arm’s reach of each other. This proved to be useful only a short time later.

About a week after Finn had started staying with Poe, he woke up with a start in the middle of the night. This was odd, because all his life he’d been a sound sleeper. It came with the territory of sleeping on moving starships, in uncomfortable bunk beds, with terrifying and severe training during the day. If you didn’t sleep well in the First Order, you wouldn’t last long.

Finn looked around himself groggily but saw nothing in the pitch black. Just as he shut his eyes and made to turn over, he heard Poe breathing.

He lay in the dark and listened for a moment. He could tell by Poe’s breaths that he was still asleep, but having a terrible dream. He was panting softly but in an unnerving irregular pattern, interspersed with barely understandable mumbling. Finn could make out a “No”, and a “Please”. He reached out to touch Poe, stroking his arm lightly, but couldn’t wake him.

Finn sat up and fumbled for the lamp. Light flooded the small room but Poe still wouldn’t wake. He was tossing slightly, still mumbling under his breath. Finn knelt beside him and whispered, “Poe. Poe. Wake up. It’s just a dream.”

Poe mumbled, “Finn.”

“Yeah, I’m here, wake up.”

“Finn,” Poe said again, louder.

“Poe,” Finn replied, reaching out for Poe’s hand and squeezing it tight, “Poe, I’m here, It’s Finn. Wake up.”

“Finn - No - No,” Poe muttered. Finn saw tears lightly streaming down his face. He couldn’t take it any longer.

Finn placed both his hands on Poe’s shoulders and shook him. Poe woke with a gasp and shouted, “Finn!”

“Hey – I’m here, it’s ok,” Finn said, reaching out to cusp Poe’s face. Poe blinked, breathing heavily, like he wasn’t sure what was happening.

“Finn?”

Finn smiled weakly. “Yeah. That’s me. You were dreaming.”

“Having a fucking nightmare, more like it,” Poe said, swinging his legs off the bed and sitting on the edge. Finn pulled himself up to sit next to Poe, squeezing his hand again and rubbing Poe’s hand with his thumb.

“You wanna talk about it?” Finn asked after a few moments of silence.

Poe sighed and rested his forehead against Finn’s shoulder. “I was back with Ren. He was torturing me.” Finn nodded softly, and waited for him to explain further.

“He was hurting me, with the Force, like he did before. But then it all changed and I was just watching. I looked over and he was - he was torturing you, Finn.”

Finn rested his head on top of Poe’s to try to soothe him. “Hey, it was just a night terror, though. He’s not here. You’re ok,” he paused, then whispered, “I’m ok.”

Poe moved his head gently, and smiled tightly at Finn. “Yeah. It’s just … I never get like this, I never get nightmares.”

“Me neither,” Finn conceded, “But I guess that’s what having someone in your head does to you.”

Poe nodded, and they sat in silence for a few minutes, with Finn holding Poe’s hand and Poe trying to get his breathing back to normal. Finn spoke first.

“You wanna try and get some sleep?” he asked softly.

“Give it a go,” Poe replied with a shrug.

They both lay back in their own beds, and fell asleep only a short time later with Finn still holding Poe’s hand in his own.

…

The next day, Poe insisted on having another go at the holosimulator, despite Finn insisting he take it easy. On their walk to the holobay, Finn did manage to get Poe to agree to select a preset, basic flight tactics mode in the holosim.

Unsurprisingly, Poe managed to complete the simulator in record time, and even managed to include some personalized flight tactics that weren’t included in the programme. He clambered out of the simulator cockpit with a wide grin on his face.

“I thought we agreed you’d take it easy?” Finn asked, his eyebrows raised.

Poe tsked. “Never agreed to that. I said I’d set an easy sim. Never said _I’d_ take it easy.”

Finn shook his head, barely stopping himself from grinning back and sighed. Poe just chuckled in response, and jostled Finn around the shoulders playfully.

“You wanna get some breakfast then? Should still be some left.”

“Yeah, sure,” Finn said, automatically holding out his hand for Poe to take. Poe didn’t even look down before taking it.

On their short walk to the canteen, Poe cleared his throat and said, “I never did thank you for last night.”

Finn glanced at Poe wordlessly, waiting for him to continue.

“It’s not easy for me. I’m used to being the strong one. So I just -“ Poe slowed his pace and stopped to look Finn in the eye, “I wanted to say thank you. Not just for waking me up and everything. But for not … for not making me feel weak.”

Finn nodded, then pulled Poe into a gentle hug. “I don’t think anyone could make you weak Poe Dameron,” he said softly into Poe’s shoulder.

Poe knew that Finn was wrong from how he let the hug linger, savouring every moment he got to hold Finn in his arms. Poe wasn’t just weak. He was a goner.

…

The nightmare returned again that same night.

This time, Finn didn’t wake up to the sound of Poe’s breathing. The sound he heard was undeniably crying. He turned over in his bed and turned the lamp on. Poe was still asleep but tears were running down his cheeks. Finn sat up and blearily rubbed his face, then leant over and shook Poe awake.

“Poe. Poe. It’s alright,” he whispered as Poe opened his eyes. “Same dream?” he asked in a whisper.

Poe nodded against his pillow, “That Ren’s a piece of work.”

Finn sighed, “He really is.”

They sat opposite each other for a few minutes, knees touching and fingers loosely laced together while Poe calmed his breathing.

“Hey,” Finn said softly once Poe was calm again, “Why don’t you sleep in this bed with me?”

Poe looked up at him quizzically, eyes wide open.

“It’s just - I know how terrifying they can be alone.”

“I thought you said you didn’t have nightmares?” Poe asked, his voice raspy.

“I did when I was younger.”

Immediately, Poe’s mind was flooded with images of Finn as a child, alone and parentless crying on a bare First Order mattress. He gripped Finn’s hand tighter.

“Alright,” he said, shoving Finn lightly so there was room for him to clamber in next to him. He felt Finn resting awkwardly behind him, his arms placed delicately over Poe’s waist. Poe sighed into the pillow and felt himself start to drift back to sleep.

He couldn’t pretend that choosing to sleep next to Finn was a decision made altruistically or only for the good of his mental health.

…

For the following few nights, there was an awkward jostling over where they should both sleep, with Poe pretending to go to bed in the camp bed before being pulled into bed with Finn. He made half-hearted objections that the bed was quite small and he didn’t want to hurt Finn’s back before Finn would shush him by placing his finger to Poe’s lips. After only three days of this ritual, the camp bed was pressed against the other wall and forgotten.

Finn soon became a regular big spoon, holding Poe closer every night until Poe could feel Finn’s breath against his neck. Finn’s arm would be draped over Poe’s chest, resting on his left pectoral whilst his other arm lay still under Poe’s neck. When they woke in the morning, both men would barely have moved during the night after a calm and dreamless sleep.

Sleeping in even closer quarters meant even more stolen glances on both of their parts. When Poe would sit up on the edge of the bed after waking, Finn would let his eyes linger on Poe’s tousled hair and how his night shirt rode up to show his lower back dimples. When Finn fell asleep again whilst Poe went to splash his face awake in the morning, Poe would let himself watch him for a few moments, seeing his chest rise and fall peacefully without any monitors beeping in the background. He fought the urge to kiss him awake every single time.

They also let themselves linger for longer on gentle hugs after training sessions and expanded the acceptable places and ways to hold hands under the _totally legitimate_ excuse of Finn’s recovery. Nevermind that Finn had been cleared for self-supervision and light duties by Healer Ja’ayx a full week ago. They even held hands during meal times, making the other pilots roll their eyes and start a betting pool about when the two would actually start officially dating and stop beating around the bush.

Both Finn and Poe were incredibly slow on the uptake to what the entire Resistance base had known for weeks - that they were clearly both in love and acting like shy children holding hands with their first playground boyfriends. Finn’s actions were excused, explained away by a lack of childhood and proper socialising. Poe, on the other hand, was the topic of much gossip around the base, being a full grown man with a well-documented romantic history. One of Poe’s ex-boyfriends was a controller in the command room of the base and found the whole charade particularly amusing to watch.

“Well, Poe was never like this when we were dating. He was pretty clear about what he wanted, if you know what I mean,” the man explained with a cheeky smile. A few of the people listening blushed lightly and giggled.

“But did he ask you out, or the other way around, Lyon?” asked Kaydel Ko from other side of the table.

Lyon thought for a moment. “To be honest, neither of us officially asked the other out. I guess I was the one who suggested we get dinner?”

“Maybe he’s not used to initiating,” Jessika suggested.

“Leave them be,” Snap grumbled, noting a conniving glint in Jessika’s eye, “They’re both adults, they’ll just have to figure it out for themselves.”

“Well, my bet’s still on next Tuesday if there are any takers,” Jessika announced to the table.

The group were just pooling their credits when Poe and Finn walked up to the table, hand in hand.

“What’s going on here, eh?” Poe asked, eyeing Jessika with curiosity.

Jessika opened her mouth to explain, but Snap interrupted her. “They’re all betting on when Rey’s gonna come back with Skywalker. Jessika says next Tuesday.” Snap shot Jessika a smirk.

Finn and Poe looked at each other, then the money. “I think we’ll take that bet,” Poe said with a smile. Jessika could barely contain her laughter at Poe betting on when he was going to make a move on the man he was currently holding the hand of, only breaking her control once the two had walked away.

“That Jessika is a bit -“ Finn said.

“Lively?” Poe offered.

Finn chuckled, “Yeah.”

…

Poe eventually realised that he had been sleeping perfectly ever since sharing with Finn, barely remembering his dream let alone waking to terrifying nightmares. He would awaken in Finn’s arms and feel safer than he had in decades. He had also come to realise that the two were less sleeping next to each other than sleeping in each other’s arms. Poe, of course, had no objection to this realisation. But he was interested as to why Finn hadn’t said or done anything about it yet. Did he feel the same as he did? Had he also been oblivious to how close the two had become?

He found his answers later that night when he got into bed with Finn. As per usual, Finn had settled in before Poe, and had his arm outstretched waiting for Poe’s head to rest on it. Poe slipped under the covers, and lay flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He felt Finn’s other arm reach across him to cradle his torso.

Usually, Poe would then roll over and they would fall asleep in a tight spoon. But Finn spoke up, “You alright, Poe?”

Poe turned his head to Finn and answered, “Course. Why you ask?”

“Just looked like you were thinking is all”

Poe rolled over to face Finn, then explained, “Just about today. You did really well on the holosim”

“Thanks,” Finn replied barely above a whisper. It was only then that Poe realised how close their faces truly were. Their noses were nearly touching, and he could smell the spearmint on Finn’s breath.

Poe instinctively went to lean in and kiss Finn, moving his head slightly closer so their noses grazed against one another. He caught himself at the last moment and gasped softly. Finn noticed a light blush on Poe’s cheeks before Poe rolled over so his back was facing him.

Silence hung in the air as Poe silently chastised himself in embarrassment and Finn found himself wanting to rewind his existence by 15 seconds.

Poe cleared his throat, trying not to overthink the welcoming look in Finn’s eyes as he’d leant in. “Goodnight,” he said, reaching to turn off the lamp.

“Night,” Finn said softly, a tinge of confusion and sadness in his tone. He waited until Poe fell asleep to hold him tighter.

…

It took Poe a couple of days to recover from his embarrassment of nearly kissing Finn. He’d almost considered re-instating the camp bed situation, but honestly couldn’t bring himself to sleep without Finn’s arms around him.

“I’m fucked,” Poe muttered into his oatmeal in the breakfast canteen.

“What was that?” Jessika asked, staring at her friend in bemusement.

Poe sighed, repeating louder, “I’m fucked.”

“And why is that?” she asked with a smirk.

“I nearly kissed Fin the other night.”

“You what?!” Jessika exclaimed, checking around them to make sure Finn wasn’t back from his medical check-up early. “You _nearly_ kissed him? Nearly?”

Poe stared at her in confusion. “Why are you -?”

“What do you mean you nearly kissed him? What’s wrong with you?”

“What do you mean? I nearly kissed him. I let my feelings get in the way of our friendship. I’ve no idea if he feels the same, if he even likes men, if he likes anyone …. I mean … the First Order could have done something to him so he can’t, so … I’m-“ Poe floundered, and waved his hands in the air.

Jessika sighed. “Commander Poe Dameron, you’re a fucking blind idiot. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I’ve seen you two holding hands. I’ve listened to him tell stories about flight simulations, for fuck’s sake. If he doesn’t feel the same way about you, I’ll eat my helmet. I really will.”

Poe smiled lightly. “You really think so?”

“I fucking know so,” Jessika said, taking a bite out of her toast and waved the buttered slice in Poe’s face, “And I don’t need any Jedi mind trick to see that.”

“What should I do?”

She rolled her eyes. “Poe, you’re 32 fucking years old. Do I have to spell it out for you?”

Poe scoffed and shook his head.

…

Later that night, Poe got into bed the same way he did three days beforehand, first resting on his back, then rolling over to face Finn. He shuffled back slightly so that their noses weren’t touching and smiled contently.

“Hey,” Finn said softly.

“Hey,” Poe whispered back.

“Everything alright?” Finn asked. He’d sensed Poe’s awkwardness over the past three days and hoped they could go back to how they used to be.

Poe nodded, and Finn reached around him so his arm was cradling Poe’s back. This mostly served to drag Poe closer to Finn again. Poe let out a small, involuntary gasp at this, and he saw Finn bite his lip slightly in response.

He couldn’t see much detail in the darkness of the room, so he reached out almost blindly with his hand toward. His fingers grazed against warm, bare skin.

“You’re not wearing a shirt,” he said softly.

“Too warm,” Finn explained, his voice quavering.

Poe let his fingers wander lightly across Finn’s chest, tracing out his nipples, his collarbone and his neck. He heard Finn’s breath get raggedy at the slight touching. He grazed his fingers up Finn’s check to his jawbone and traced the outline before reaching Finn’s lips. He placed a single finger across them, silencing Finn’s hoarse breathing. He gulped, his mouth dry.

Then he leant forward by only the slightest amount and pressed his lips against Finn’s. It was short, sweet and chaste. He felt Finn gasp lightly, then kiss back hesitantly. He broke the kiss and rested his forehead against Finn’s, his hand cusping Finn’s jaw.

“What was that for?” Finn asked in a shocked whisper.

“Being here,” Poe answered honestly, his heart racing.

Finn’s hand slipped behind his head, and Finn pulled Poe in for another kiss. This one was different. Finn was a more forceful kisser, and he held Finn tight against him like he never wanted to let go. He only broke the kiss to breathe again.

Their lips hovered next to each other, only wisps away from meeting.

“And what was that for?” Poe murmured, stroking Finn’s jawline.

“Letting me be,” Finn replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Call the cheese police on me I'm handing myself in.


End file.
